The Dam of Shamelessness

"The rivers of shame can only be blocked by the dam of shamelessness!"

—Pradeep K (Prady)

Yes, I quoted myself. That's how shameless I am.

Shame: a word that sends shivers down the spine of anyone who's ever encountered a nosey neighbor, a judgmental aunt, or even a slightly overenthusiastic colleague. Whether it's something as simple as forgetting to mute yourself during an important Zoom meeting or as profound as being caught in a public embarrassment, shame has always had its way with us. But what if I told you that there's a secret weapon against shame, a hidden treasure of human resilience that has been passed down, albeit quietly, through the generations?

The answer lies in shamelessness—not just any shamelessness, mind you, but a refined, dignified shamelessness that helps you weather the raging floods of societal judgment. It’s a strategy, nay, an art form that few have mastered, and fewer still have recognized for its true value.

Think of the average Indian wedding, as a case in point. It’s not just a marriage between two people; it’s a celebration where everyone’s insecurities and embarrassments come to light. Aunties will shamelessly ask newlyweds the question that has plagued the ages: "When will you give us good news?" Well, obviously this is not a request for a weather update.

Yet, the veteran bride or groom knows this: the only way to survive such moments is to build your own dam of shamelessness. Smile, deflect, move on. Without it, you’d drown in the rivers of shame, with every awkward laugh or uncomfortable question adding to the tide.

Of course, a bigger monster looming in our lives since time immemorial—a particularly Indian affliction—is the eternal question: "What will people say?" Uncle Ramesh buys a bright yellow car? "What will people say?" A cousin takes up pottery instead of engineering? "What will people say?" You're still single at 30? "What will people say?!"

Let me tell you, people will always say something. If you keep trying to control the flow of their opinions, you'll be flooded with shame until you can barely keep your head above water.

Enter the dam of shamelessness. In this case, it takes the form of proudly showing off your yellow car, inviting the whole extended family to your pottery class, or even announcing your singlehood as if it were a personal badge of honor.

No river can erode a dam built of confidence, humor, and a generous dose of "I don’t care."

But it’s not just in India where the power of shamelessness shines. Whether you're in Mumbai or Manhattan, shame takes on many forms, but the key to blocking it remains the same. Take any celebrity scandal—there’s a scandal, a social media uproar and then, like clockwork, comes the strategic post: "I’m learning and growing, thank you for your patience." You see, while ordinary folk like us might retreat into hiding after a public misstep, celebrities have their own blueprint: construct a dam. Let the criticisms flow around it, while you sit, dry as a bone, sipping coffee and waiting for the tide to recede.

Jokes apart, shamelessness is, in some ways, a survival mechanism in today’s hyper-connected, hyper-judgmental world. With social media platforms turning everyone into instant judges, the rivers of shame flow faster and heavier than ever before. A poorly worded tweet, a fashion embarrassment at the wrong event, a harmless mistake blown out of proportion—all are common causes for public shaming. But the secret to surviving it? Learn the fine art of laughing at yourself before anyone else gets the chance.

Imagine you post an ill-advised picture of yourself in mismatched clothes, and the comments section starts to fill up with merciless ridicule. Now, you have two choices—either let the river sweep you away or construct the dam of shamelessness by replying, "I was clearly too ahead of fashion trends. You'll catch up someday!" The tide recedes, the critics move on, and you, my friend, have blocked the river like a pro.

Whether it's nosy relatives, social media mobs, or the inner critic that lives rent-free in your head, remember: you control the dam. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to simply let the waters flow, unbothered, around the fortress you've built.

And when people ask you how you stay so dry amid the floods of judgment and shame, you can always smile, nod knowingly, and say, "Oh, it’s simple. I just built a dam."

-- Pradeep K (Prady)