Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Beware of Kids!

Little Bobby (seven) was in love with Little Susie (same age) who lived next door.

One day, Bobby went to Susie's dad and announced (as seriously as he could), "I'm in love with Susie, and we're getting married".

Amused, Susie's dad started asking questions (in the hopes to discourage the idea).

Susie's dad: "Where will you live?"

Bobby: "Well, Susie has a playhouse in the back yard, so we're gonna live there."

Susie's dad: "How are you going to make money to support her?"

Bobby: "Well, Susie gets 75 cents a week, and I get $1.25 a week." "That should be more than enough!"

Seeing that Bobby was still serious, Susie's dad asked, "Well, what about children?"

Bobby perked up and quickly answered, "Oh, we have that figured out already. Whenever Susie lays an egg, I'm gonna stomp on it!"

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the fucking walls if you came to visit us again."

An eight-year-old boy was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming. As a last, desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down the client's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny penis for all to see.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried, turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small, still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?"

Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown woman-"

"Watch it, mister," whispered the kid, "One more shake and you'll lose the case."

Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how tough their fathers were.

"My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!" said young Harry.

"Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men... so lick that!" Tommy said.

"That's nothing!" declared little Johnny. "My dad hasn't wiped his ass in 10 years... so lick that!"



Diana said...

hey praddeeppppp......first comment is of mine......yeyeyeyeyey....hows life dear?

Eclipsed Thoughts said...

Hey Pradeep...
Are you okay??
well, i have been off for a while. Not been to work as well. I will catch you in a couple of days!!
take care...

Bhakti said...

What happened to your spiritual/inspirational pieces?

I love the joke about the father climbing the &*@#ing walls when the grandmother visits!

Thanks for the laughs.

Keshi said...

jokes-posts for a while...u ok?


PRADEEP K. said...

Hi, Diiiiiiiiiii!
Yesssssss, u r first! :)
Missed u much. Howz u babez?
Life, as usual, is a bitch.

Dear Eclipsed,
Hugggggzzz you right back. Hope all is well with you, dear. Sure, and your take care, too.

Dear Bhakti,
I shall answer your question in an email. Glad you enjoyed the jokes.

Keshiiiiiiiiiiiii :)
Huggggggggzzzz... Thank you so much for the concern, dear. I'm tired of a few things, and trying to figure out what to do about them.

Ekta said...

hey I loved the first one!!
But why only jokes?..not writing anything?

Keshi said...

Praddy I got ur email...will reply in the wknd ok?? TC.


Maya Cassis said...

hee hee hee kids come up with the best stuff and stomping on eggs..now that's some great contraceptive method alright...rofl...I had so much fun going through this.great!

starry nights said...

nice jokes, kids always say the darndst things. just stopped to say hello.

Anand said...

Loved all the jokes..hilarious!
Good ones!

PRADEEP K. said...

Dear All,
Thank you. :)

Keshi said...

hope ur ok..


tulipspeaks said...

enna aaleyum kaanom, new post tum kaanom?


Jewel Rays said...

"Oh, we have that figured out already. Whenever Susie lays an egg, I'm gonna stomp on it!"


Maya Cassis said...

where art thou...still looking :)